BRITAIN’S Got Talent judges Simon Cowell and David Walliams are always winding each other up on telly.
But David might have finally managed to one-up his boss.
He is planning to immortalise Simon as a curt character in one of his children’s books.
The funnyman wants to pen a story about a little boy called Simon, who makes unpleasant comments about people.
David, who has written 19 novels and amassed an estimated fortune of £30million, opens up about his plans on tomorrow night’s Britain’s Got More Talent, presented by Stephen Mulhern.
He said: “It would be about a young boy called Simon, who likes to judge others.”
The rivals even shake on the deal, and Simon says: “I want a third of the royalties.”
A telly source said: “David wanted to push Simon’s buttons by cheekily creating a character based on him, but Simon is secretly chuffed. He loves the idea of reading the book to his son Eric.”
It comes after Simon joked that four-year-old Eric would replace David on the BGT panel.
He claimed: “It will come sooner than we think.
“Eric likes the shows, so he comes down to them with me. I’m sort of training him up.”
Maybe David should re-think his novel . . .
Elt of a time on CBeebies
- SOME pretty famous faces have voiced a CBeebies Bedtime Story, but Sir Elton John is its biggest signing yet.
The music legend, who has two young sons, will read The Dog Detectives next Thursday.
He follows in the footsteps of Tom Hardy and Eddie Redmayne.
bizbit
MTV is launching a reality show attempting to find soulmates for ‘mermaids’. Sexy singletons who believe they are the mythical creatures will date fish-loving men in the romp, called Mermaids. It sounds awful.
Simon Mayo’s Dig-time
HE’S a veteran of BBC TV and radio, so Simon Mayo’s latest criticism of the corporation’s snail-pace bid to plug the gender pay gap must sting.
The Radio 2 presenter, who will be co-hosting a new show with Jo Whiley from next month, said the Beeb’s attempts to tackle equality were taking too long. Simon said: “I think these things change painfully slowly but the change comes eventually.
He added of his new co-host: “I was with Jo at Radio 1 and my wife and I used to go away at weekends with her and her husband.
“She was my suggestion and it was my idea. It’s a new, exciting adventure.
It will be familiar as we’ve both been around a long time.
“To say it’s been an interesting year is an understatement.
“Large corporations are adjusting but too slowly and playing catch-up with social media. They can’t get away with what they used to get away with.”
Well said, Simon.
Britain’s Got Talent: Comedian job offer
HE is one of the favourites to win this year’s Britain’s Got Talent after wowing the judges with his stand-up routine.
Now fans of Lee Ridley, better known as Lost Voice Guy, can apply to work alongside him.
The speechless comic, who uses a synthetic voice machine to deliver his jokes, has put an advert on Gumtree for a personal assistant to help him as he travels to gigs across the country.
He is offering £60 a day for someone to drive him round, help him set up an iPad and make food and get him changed if he has to stay overnight for a performance.
The advert reads: “This would probably suit someone who didn’t have too many commitments, lives in the North East, doesn’t mind driving (especially at night) and who could give up a few days/evenings a month to travel with me to places.
“It would probably also help if you liked me!”
Lee even manages to fit the odd gag into the advert – demanding that employees must laugh at all his jokes.
I’m sure he’d be a great boss.
mustwatch
WHAT? Our Wildest Dreams, Channel 4, 8pm.
WHY? The first in a series following people who move to a far-flung corner of the world. This time, a woman from Greenwich, South East London, relocates to rural Ecuador.
Rochelle’s banned words for girls
SHE may not struggle with weight herself, but Rochelle Humes refuses to use any words related to dieting around her two young daughters.
The TV host, married to ex-JLS singer Marvin, wants to protect four-year-old Alaia-Mai, and Valentina, one, from having an unhealthy body image.
Like me, Rochelle, pictured filming ITV2’s Celebrity Juice, has just run the London Marathon – as an ambassador for footwear firm New Balance. I bet she did it faster.
bizbit
HE may be a new face here after joining BBC legal drama The Split, but Barry Atsma is huge in native Holland, where he has had three stalkers. He said: “There’s three per cent of the population watching you that is crazy.”
Voice Royal invite No2
THE Voice has received another royal seal of approval from Prince Harry.
Mentor Will.i.am revealed his royal highness was a huge fan of the ITV show after he wrote to contestant Donel Mangena to perform at The Queen’s 92nd birthday party.
Now the prince has asked a second performer from the show, Wayne Ellington, to sing at the celebrations for his forthcoming wedding to Meghan Markle.
Mancunian choirmaster Wayne, 46, was mentored by Sir Tom Jones.
Now he’s been invited to entertain at the royal nuptials next month alongside his community choir Manchester Inspirational Voices.
And who says The Voice contestants don’t go on to bigger and better things?
most read in bizarre
soapbox
IN EMMERDALE, Daz can’t keep quiet and lets slip a terrible secret to Kerry.
Elsewhere, Vanessa pleads with Charity, and Rishi requires Frank’s unique skills.
Over on Coronation Street, Rana is accused of reporting her mum to the police, and Toyah is sick of Simon’s backchat.
Mary encourages Jude to apply for a new job and Zeedan’s hopes are raised when Rana falls out with Kate.
Meanwhile, in EastEnders, Max does all he can to get his life back on track and Mel tells Kat if she wants the cleaning job back, she must return all the booze she stole the night before.